Reprinted from Cloud Shaddows
I’m back to work today after a week visiting with my mother in the hospital. My mom has COPD and is in the last stages of the disease. My dad called me on Wednesday night that my mom was back in the hospital, just 3 weeks after she went home from her last hospital stay. On Thursday afternoon I received a call from my dad – the Dr. had told him it was time to call my sister and me. I could tell from the tone of his voice that things were not good. My mom was told by the doctor that diagnosed her COPD that she had 5 years left – this was 6 years ago, so everyday is a borrowed day.
Dad told me that the doctors had been working on mom all day – she was in ICU and wasn’t expected to make it. So I rented a car and my sister, niece, and I started a fast as possible 24 hour drive to Iowa. Our biggest fear after speaking with dad was that we wouldn’t be in time. (I had just seen my mom in August when I went up for a quick vacation – but my sister and niece hadn’t seen her in a year.)
At some point while the doctors were working on mom she finally was coherent enough for the doctor to explain what was going on and my mom asked “Am I dying?” Dr. Robin answered “yes”. So Mom looked at her and asked “Today?” and the answer was “Possibly” to which my mom responded “I’m not ready to go yet.” So in my mom’s stubborn fashion – she didn’t go. In fact, after hearing that we were on our way up – she started improving.
We got in about 12:30AM Friday night/Saturday morning – and immediately went to sleep. By the time we got to see her on Saturday morning she was doing much better. They had moved her back to her own room, and was very glad to see us. Mom felt guilty that we had wasted our trip to Iowa since she was feeling better and was going to get to go home – to which I informed her that she can NOT feel guilty for NOT DYING! The trip was in no way a waste of our time.
Jeffrey (my oldest) and Cameron (my youngest) arrived on Monday night and we all spend Tuesday morning with mom. Jeffrey is staying up there as he needed a change from Tampa and was planning a move anyway. Cameron came back with us on Tuesday – he didn’t get to see mom for a long time but it was really great that she got to see him at all. We had to leave to return the rental car but none of us really wanted to go. We took pictures and said good-byes and the question in the air was would this be our last good-bye.
The drive home was fairly uneventful – we all had to fold ourselves into the car, because it wasn’t a very big car and there were four of us to get home. The last 200 miles I cried most of the way and have pretty much been crying off and on since then. Every little thing sets me off…
They moved mom into their rehab area called Skilled Care for physical and respiratory therapy for approximately a week before they allow her to go home. After that it’s a guessing game – hopefully she goes home and is able to stay well for a while --- a long while. But we all know that things are going to happen and none of us are ready for them when they do.
On the plus side and there were a couple – I was able to have a conversation with both of my parents about their end of life wishes….which no matter how many times I had tried to have the conversation before neither of them wanted to talk about it. My mom got to see her brother who came to visit her in the hospital and I was able to see my brother and one of my best friends.
Right now all I can do is try to go on with the day to day, call the hospital and check on her progress, and hope that she knows just how much I love her.
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