Medications to make you feel better?

The new medication that is supposed to help alleviate my anemia made me so sick nauseous that I went home from work at 2:30PM and slept until 7:00PM...what happens when the meds are worse than the symptoms? Riddle me THAT Batman!

Medications to make you feel better?

There but for the grace of God....

I was greated on Facebook yesterday by a link from my cousin to a newspaper article about a guy I knew in high school. Bob Zellmer was a little older than me - but then a lot of my friends were older than me back then. (Funny that they are mostly all younger than me now.) Bob left this world earlier this month at the age of 50. In high school I remember him as always smiling...him and his brothers always had a little bit of a reputation then, but when you live in small town middle America all teenage kids have a reputation. He always had friends around him and everyone talked about what a great singer he was.

I haven't seen him in years, probably since I moved away from that small town. But like everything in you childhood things from then aren't supposed to change. A happy go lucky guy from high school is not supposed to die addicted and homeless. These are not things that should happen.

Even though Bob was homeless himself and dealing with addictions - he spent his time trying to help other homeless people have shelter - a place to get out of the weather. I guess that's what living in my small town did for all of us - everyone I know from there would give you the shirt off of their back...something that is sadly lacking these days. I don't know what happened in Bob's life but I do know that it only takes one small thing and you're on a path that is hard to change. I also know that I appreciate everything and everyone I have in my life. I have a roof over my head - friends and family that love me - and that's enough...no matter how much I bitch that it's not.

Rest in Peace Builder Bob - You will be missed more than you know.

There but for the grace of God....

Last Dance

REPOSTED FROM MY BLOG:

You thought you were having a Bad Hair Day? I am just letting you know that I think I win the contest. The picture the other day of my hair was nothing compared to this result after three swipes on partially wet hair this afternoon.



This progression makes today the last official day of me shampooing my hair. I am afraid to dry it since the follicles are no longer how they once were before the chemo. Monday's shave cannot come soon enough. Thanks to my friends and family, I have a full weekend to not think about it too much. One thing is for sure: I will miss the slow dance of my fingers through my hair while I shampoo it. Big Sigh.

Last Dance

Follicle Faith

My aunt and stepmother both have some serious "Follicle Faith". No, it is not a new religion -- just a misplaced faith in me not losing my hair during my chemotherapy treatment. Every friggin' time they call me, they say things like, "Maybe you'll be the first one not to lose hair" or "You're too anxious to shave your head -- wait at the last possible minute". Ugh.

Hair is falling out as we speak. Not in clumps yet, but more than usual. Three medical professionals told me that I would lose my hair based on my chemo cocktail: my surgeon, the cancer center pharmacist who explained the chemicals and a nurse. The taxol and the carboplatin in my chemo mix make you lose your hair.

I wish these well-meaning women would cease their "Follicle Faith". It is bad enough I have been crying everyday for fear that day could the day clumps starts coming out. My head will be shaved on Monday; I am not waiting to see my scalp revealed. I have to get my wig styled on my shaved head. The wig is snug right now and I need to make sure it stretches a bit before I go back to work in two weeks. Believe me when I say I've been mourning impending loss of joy my hair gives me. My reality is temporary hair loss.
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Follicle Faith

Tuesday again....

Tuesdays appear to not be such a good day for me... While trying to help Jeff find his cell phone this morning I totally forgot to grab my badge to get into my office. When I asked what do I do about it - senior rep tells me that it's a huge hassle to get visitor badge so just borrow hers or co-worker#2's badge. (Co-worker #1 has morning off). OH YEAH - did I mention that I need this badge to actually get back in office from the restroom? So every tinkle time I will now need to borrow a badge from one of co-workers to get back in.

This information was quickly followed by the next set of events:
1. I got an e-mail from a client asking for backup to an invoice...which I had already provided the information I received through e-mail
2. I ask sr. rep about it and co-worker #2 gets involved informing me that I should have sent the scanned file also.
3. What scanned file? (WTF?)
4. It seems that while yes I sent the documents I had been e-mailed the account manager also interofficed a bunch of paperwork which i didn't know needed to be scanned and e-mailed to client. (because notes from previous person were unclear - gee guess who was the previous person?)
5. Co-worker #2 gets all preachy about it being in the notes and walks away
6. Sr. Rep agrees with me that the notes are not clear so I update them for whoever the next billing rep is that gets this account.
7. Co-worker #2 all sullen and biotchy...(did you remember that I'm supposed to be borrowing her badge today for the restroom breaks?)

So all quiet in office this morning as the only ones really speaking are me and Sr. Rep...and that's only when necessary for work (no tension there just both work focused).

And then the final WTF moment... it appears we are all out of regular coffee in the breakroom...and the only flavor available is GERMAN CHOCOLATE CAKE!!! ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

And it's only 11:00AM...sigh

Tuesday again....

Tuesday?

Okay so did not want to wake up this morning but managed to get to work on time all showered bright and shiny for the new day. Was leaving early for Dr. appointment. Today was ultrasound and echocardiagram. Work went smoothly and my sister hit me up about 2PM to see what we were planning for dinner. So at last minute we're having an impromptu dinner for 6 tonight. Got out of work on time and to Dr. office with time to spare. Spent the next hour being poked and prodded..."please lay in this strange position that no one would ever actually lay in while I take these pictures of your heart." By the time Jeff picked me up I was sooooo tired. Decided to go home and try to nap before everyone came over. The universe had other ideas though...I think almost everyone I know decided to call me during that short window...

Talked to number one son and invited him to dinner - he accepted along with "can I bring a load of laundry" Of course! So now dinner for 7...so got up from non existant nap and started getting ready for everyone to descend...Jeff and I then remembered that we had to renew our lease TODAY in order to keep our same rent (and believe me we got an exceptional deal on our lease) luckily they had extended hours today at the office due to special they were running. We got there at 7:30 and they were closing at 8:00...so just enough time - we got everything signed and back to the house...everyone had arrived while we were out and Shelli had dinner started. At this time it was already after 8...dinner was finally ready at 9 but unfortunately Jeff had to work tonight at 9 so he wasn't able to sit with us at the table. But all in all dinner was wonderful everyone had fun and it was yummy.

Just finishing up some laundry and on to bed...almost midnight after very busy day and evening. Time for some ZZZZZ's.

Tuesday?

Vampires

So I get up extra early today and rush around because I have to go have more blood drawn. (How do the doctors expect you to get over anemia when they keep taking all of your blood?) We get to the lab right when it opens at 6:30AM and there are only a couple of people there. So all's good right? Should be in and out and on our way to work...but no couldn't be THAT easy. Half of the staff didn't show up on time because of daylight savings time. They didn't set the clocks ahead...so took twice as long and ended up sitting there for an hour for a proceedure that took 2 minutes.

Vampires

Oh so special

I hate to make this all about medical ailments - but it's what I'm going through right now...Heading today for my "Oh so special" yearly exam. Well to be truthful for me it's kinda bi-annual - because I hate it so much. On top of that I have to discuss the anemia I have - along with what is causing it...AND spent one day last week and again last night with weird chest pain. So I have to check and see WTF is that about? Hopefully it's just stress on my body from the anemia issues.

SIGH...

On a brighter note:

A friend on FB posted this today "Morning is nature's way of saying: Live life one more time, make a difference, touch one heart, encourage one mind and inspire one soul."

I liked the sentiment and will strive to accomplish it.

Oh so special

Just a Thought...

from my facebook post today:

On the Bonnie Hunt show yesterday, her mom said to the young lady not picked on The Bachelor, "Rejection is God's Protection." The sentiment can be applied to many things in your life. So if you're not getting what you want, then maybe it's not for you. Jeezus, what the heck do I do about what I AM getting?! LMAO

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Just a Thought...

Update: Good Veins

Received news this morning from my primary care doctor that my ultrasound came out clear -- no clots. Still doesn't answer why I am having swollen legs. I can be referred to a vascular doctor if I want. Sigh. I'll have to discuss that with my surgeon, but I will more likely have to wait until my Happy Hours taking in my Chemo Cocktails are all done...

Water pills seem to be working quickly. Yay!

xo
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Update: Good Veins

All in Vein

Jeezus...really? My legs are swelling again. I thought not having the alien cancerous cyst would cure that. After a visit to my primary care physician today and an ultrasound to peer inside, I am not very confident at future outcomes. (BTW -- my surgeon/gynecological oncologist said that I should check with my primary care physician since I had the swelling before I had my surgery. Are you kidding? So I made the appointment...) We must all remind ourselves that doctors "practice" and must guess based on present information. Hopefully, the ultrasound will give me more info.

The lady conducting the ultrasound today said that I may have blown out the valves on a couple of veins after years of being swollen. Even though the huge alien is gone, I may still have issues that can be corrected with laser surgery to close off those veins. All this is supposition and may have to be addressed after all my chemo is done. Fun never ends, does it? Wait until I have to get compression socks -- those are the sexiest pieces of clothing ever!

I also have some pain in my back and hips which primary physician thinks is attributable to the cancer still left or something. To be honest, I feel it to be skeletal from the "debulking" (doctor speak for a really fucking large and heavy watery cyst that made you look nine months pregnant was taken from you and made you lose 35 lbs two weeks after the surgery). What do I know? I am not a physician. Well...not educated and board certified anyway. LOL

In the meantime, I get to take water pills, pee a heck of a lot and find positions that will get me near upside down to help gravity the other way. I'd post a video but that would be too easy for you to laugh at over and over again...

Hugs,
S
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All in Vein

Now What?

Yes two fabulous crazy chicks and a blog...this could get interesting very quickly.

My WTF moment came about this way - I have been unemployed for 1 year and 3 months, I finally have a job and first day was to have been Feb. 22nd - but due to some processing difficulties and an uncooperative VPN connection the HR person I was dealing with couldn't clear me to start on Monday but was able to confirm a Tuesday the 23rd start day.

This left me with absolutely nothing to do Monday but just do some final things around the house since I would now be gone everyday, once again among the gainfully employed. At 4:30PM my Dr. office called to tell me they received my blood work from the week before and even though I had an appointment scheduled for the 11th they needed to see me right away. WHAT???!! Are you kidding me? If they had called any earlier in the day I could have gone immediately...but I was starting a NEW job the next day!

I called the office the next day to find out that I am EXTREMELY anemic (again???) and they wanted to see me. I made a deal with the nurse that I would start taking iron supplements at the same levels as the last time this happened and we would discuss everything at the appointment on the 11th. She wasn't happy about it but c'est la vie. I am not putting a new job in jeopardy after being unemployed this long.

So the next WTF Now moment will be on the 11th when we try to figure out why I keep becoming anemic. Stay tuned...

Now What?